Deep Thought and a Comic that Doesn't Quite Fit

I’ve been thinking about my blog very seriously in the past two weeks. I’m not here to offend anyone and the only bridges that should end burning are the ones already smoking. I don’t want to push people away with this or to become condescending. The truth is, I want to start taking the advice I dish out, a “practice what you preach” if you will. Because let’s be honest here, I’m not exactly scot-free. I need to start making changes. And yes, it’s hard living a life in which you are different, no matter how small. And sometimes, we hide from ourselves and blame ourselves for being different. Being ashamed of being different or yourself is a terrible feeling. It’s not always easy to accept who we are and sometimes we get lost and blame the wrong people. Sometimes, we push away the people who are important to us because we don’t know what to say to them. But it’s reached the point that keeping my thoughts, feelings, and ideas to myself is no longer acceptable and it’s stifling the person I am striving to be. Lately, I have been asked a lot of personal questions about my life and for the first time in a long time I’ve been answering them honestly and thinking about how the different episodes have affected me, whether it is negative or a learning experience. It’s hard speaking the truth about a way of life you have lived, especially if that’s all you’ve known until recently. I’m just trying to take a satirical approach to my life, my problems and I how I deal with everything. There are always two sides to every story; this just happens to be my side. 

Introduction to My Plight

I have grown up in this little slice of heaven in south east Saskatchewan (that will remain nameless for its own safety) my whole life until recently when I was shipped off to Vancouver to pursue my dream of becoming a fashion designer. I have since completed my first year and have been stuck in my little town for the summer, impatiently waiting until I can return to sanity. It's been a bizarre experience being back and I found myself having a harder and harder time swallowing what people accept as "normal" and what isn't.  It's time to move on, grow up, and to let the high school drama go because the world is a much bigger place than most of us realize. Oh what an eye opener Vancouver was! I was awestruck to realize that people don't actually make a habit of being rude and consistently negative. And how wonderfully indifferent everyone was! Nobody cared who I was or that I was wearing 3 scarves and 5 patterns at once. For once in my life I didn't have a past following me around like a beastly stench. I was anonymous, a brightly coloured blur passing through the crowd, free to be myself and not questioned about it, it was just accepted. I was invisible, but a different type of invisible that I had experienced my whole life. Only in my little city can I be in a crowded room and feel so completely alone. It doesn't matter how bright my lipstick is, or how short my hair is. They don’t see ME because they remember the way I used to be, not the person I am. Not that this blog will change how they think of me, in all likelihood they'll still think I’m crazy, in fact it’ll probably just reinforce the idea. I do so look forward to it.