Serial Procrastination

I’M A SERIAL PROCRASTINATOR.

It’s gotten so bad that I will do other homework to avoid certain homework. *cough* illustrator… And it’s not like I have a shortage of homework, trust me when I say IT NEVER ENDS. There is always something that I could be working on, something that could be improved, a new project to start. So why on earth do I waste my time refreshing my Facebook page when in fact I really don’t care? Or why do I allow myself to get sucked into surfing YouTube, following a trail of videos that is infinite? Looking at my calendar physically pains me. It looks like a battlefield with the due dates glistening in red and notes scattered bleakly in the perfect little numbered squares mocking me with my lack of life. I painstakingly plan out my weekends and write down everything that needs to be completed but the moment I sit down in front of my computer all my good intentions fly out the window. It doesn’t matter that I have a huge project due the next day because I just found a video of Bigbang speaking English. Who cares if I fail, the new episode of the Mentalist just came out. And before you know it, it’s Sunday night and I’m in a panic trying to finish everything for the upcoming week. It’s such a pointless and vicious cycle that causes me nothing but grief and lack of sleep. And the funny thing is, I can function perfectly well without knowing what everyone is doing in the world. In fact, I frequently take hiatuses from Facebook and my accursed cellphone, yet I never seem take them when I should. There’s just something so alluring about avoiding homework until the last conceivable minute. Maybe it’s because I fool myself into thinking I work better under pressure. But come on now, let’s be serious here, when I have a billion projects due in one week and I’m only functioning on 2 hours of sleep the whole shebang is a tight-lipped monstrosity. What I mean is that in light of the past homework leaden weeks, I think I’ve sorta learnt my lesson when it comes to proper time management. I can only hope it will stick… 

Deep Thought and a Comic that Doesn't Quite Fit

I’ve been thinking about my blog very seriously in the past two weeks. I’m not here to offend anyone and the only bridges that should end burning are the ones already smoking. I don’t want to push people away with this or to become condescending. The truth is, I want to start taking the advice I dish out, a “practice what you preach” if you will. Because let’s be honest here, I’m not exactly scot-free. I need to start making changes. And yes, it’s hard living a life in which you are different, no matter how small. And sometimes, we hide from ourselves and blame ourselves for being different. Being ashamed of being different or yourself is a terrible feeling. It’s not always easy to accept who we are and sometimes we get lost and blame the wrong people. Sometimes, we push away the people who are important to us because we don’t know what to say to them. But it’s reached the point that keeping my thoughts, feelings, and ideas to myself is no longer acceptable and it’s stifling the person I am striving to be. Lately, I have been asked a lot of personal questions about my life and for the first time in a long time I’ve been answering them honestly and thinking about how the different episodes have affected me, whether it is negative or a learning experience. It’s hard speaking the truth about a way of life you have lived, especially if that’s all you’ve known until recently. I’m just trying to take a satirical approach to my life, my problems and I how I deal with everything. There are always two sides to every story; this just happens to be my side.